12.2 Doctors Did not See Petar

“My wife was aware that I had difficulties to be with her, to feed her, wash, clean and bandage her in our apartment, so she made efforts to alleviate the situation for me by being pleased with my work and services. She agreed with my absence for several hours each day, when I had to work in the company. I always prepared the food and medicines, in order for her not to lack anything. I had no special practical experience and could not believe that I could help at the energy level in any way, but I constantly tried to help her with prayers and transformations, so the medicines would have no harmful effects and she would have enough life energy to bear everything. I hoped for her recovery. Later I realised that I was successful in many things and that my wife died peacefully and in tranquillity. I drove to work to Slovenj Gradec, when my phone rang. My wife called and asked me to come home as soon as possible, because she felt bad, and to drive her to the Oncology Institute in Ljubljana, where she was already expected by the doctors.

I immediately came home, where my wife awaited ready. I carried her into the car and put her on the seat with a lowered back and covered by a thick cushion, so the shaking of the car would not cause her additional pains, and drove her to Ljubljana. At admission entrance, we were already expected. They helped me to move her on a wheelchair, and afterwards a nurse told me that I was free to go now and that I could come back in three days. She drove my wife away down the corridor. For a long time, even when they could not be seen any longer, I watched surprised in their direction, dumbfounded.

I returned in three days. My wife waited for me and entered the car without a word. I asked her how come that no one asked me why I brought her to the hospital the other day, since that seemed customarily and normal to me, and I guessed that they were not clairvoyant. She said: ‘No, they are not clairvoyant’ and continued after several moments: ‘When they discovered that I cannot be cured, they proposed me to try a new French medicine for chemotherapy, which is still not approved for treatment. I agreed.’ My throat tightened and I told her with a great difficulty that it would be moral from the doctor’s side to consult the relatives over that matter as well. She defended the medical staff, asserting that no one can make decisions about her own body, except her. She was sick, prepared to die as a guinea pig, with spiritually ill medical blessing. That is why I became dumb, I could not reconcile to the fact that doctors could propose such inhumane manner of treatment, without my knowledge or approval, and all at my expense.”

Petar added that his wife lived for two more years. Now that he told everything to me, he hoped that he would no longer have a load on his mind and would be able to forget everything more easily.

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